情緒影響一個人的健康及思考判斷、生活質素和工作表現. 因此如何處理情緒,便影響孩童長大後能否成功及幸福地生活。

心理學研究有愈來愈多證據指出負面情緒如果得不到當事人的感受及接納，並用適當方法去表達，長久累積下來，以後容易患有情緒心理困擾。

小孩通過童年家庭生活經驗觀察，父母及親人情緒表達，學習到情緒處理的基礎，因此父母如何表達自己情緒，如何處理孩童的情緒要特別小心，免致造成後患也不知。

現舉下面一例，當孩童遇到引致出現焦慮或恐懼事件，父母應該如何處理。

一.如果你的孩子對你說︰「我房內有鬼，我不敢到房內睡覺。」你會怎樣處理？

甲家長可能會說「世界上哪有鬼？不要亂說，快去睡吧！」甲家長如此處理孩童恐懼情緒，基本上否定了他內心的感受，令他感受到自己的感受是錯的，因此除了不敢去感受自己恐懼的情緒外也不去接納自己的情緒，於是便把恐懼情緒壓抑到心底裏。

如果父母處理孩子的情緒方法不改，孩子長大後便學會了不去體驗自己的情緒並習慣性地把負面情緒壓抑下來，這對身心健康有長久不良的影響。

二.另外有家長乙面對相同處境對孩子說︰「我理解你內心的感覺，你可否告訴我，你現在內心有甚麼感受？」

當孩子內心的恐懼得到認同，有機會去感受恐懼的情緒，恐懼的感受便立刻得到緩和，並且慢慢減退消失。

家長乙如此處理孩子的情緒便給孩子學到自己可以 體驗自己的情緒而不需要抑壓真正的感受，在這種環境長大的孩童身心健康也比較有保障。

三.同樣情形下，丙家長對孩子說︰「孩子，我理解你的困擾，你可否把內心的感受與我分享，我們一起探討如何解決好嗎？」

丙家長的做法不但讓孩童感到自己可以面對自己的感受，而且感受到自己的負面情緒是可以解決的，內心比較踏實，自信並且勇於面對自己負面情緒，在這種環境長大的孩子，無論自信心、人際關係與身心健康都會得到益處。

美國在九一一事件後，有時事追擊節目,訪問當日一位消防隊長如何勇敢、有智慧地帶領一群慌張的消隊員在漆黑一片的世貿大厦內尋找生路，其後該隊長成功帶領全部隊員逃出生天，但節目過後的日子，該位有智慧又勇敢的隊長卻出現了種種情緒心理病。簡單地說是創傷後遺症，但細心研究是因為隊長責任心重，在逃生過程全心全意、竭盡心力地把隊員帶出生天，在過程中他不經意地把恐懼情緒壓抑下去的後遺症。

心理學家樂曼安德信(Norman B. Anderson)在研究人的情緒後得出結論，人一生漫長旅程中，少不免會遭遇挫折及挑戰，這些遭遇會使我們出現恐懼，憂鬱及憤怒等負面情緒，影響人們的生活及工作，如果能好好從小預防，學會如何處理負面情緒，人生的幸福才會有保障。

Our personal characteristics play a major role in our overall happiness. Research has suggested that as much as 25% of what makes us happy in life derives from things such as flexibility, our outlook on life and resilience. Hardy people tend to bounce back from setbacks and remain positive. Some of our characteristics we inherit, but there is a great deal you can do to instil healthy characteristics within you. Personal development can help you to improve your emotional wellbeing. You should get into the habit of questioning unhelpful and unhealthy thought patterns.
People manage their emotions in various ways; for instance, some people like to bottle things up on side whereas others prefer to explode at the slightest provocation. Where do you think you fit on the emotional management spectrum? If you are sitting at either of the two extremes, you are allowing yourself to be managed by your emotions not the other way round. Since it can be very hard to judge yourself objectively, you should think of different scenarios and imagine your reaction to them.
We all have a personal emotional spectrum that makes us capable of being interesting, unique characters, for that reason you should not think of emotional management as a form of brainwashing. However, what it does entail is managing responses that are negative or violent in nature. People who react violently to any provocation do so because they are lacking in emotional maturity. If you go off the rails at people for no reason, the chances are that you are only able to see the world in straight lines.
People who are excessively angry at minor provocation are lacking in perspective. Rather than seeing a problem as an irritant, they become enraged at any situation. This type of behaviour is unnecessary and destructive. An individual who acts in this way is unable to make specific observations about their feelings. They are often rash and impulsive towards other people. If you are somebody who suffers from severe anger issues, you should really consider getting professional help.
Of course, not all emotional problems are quite as extreme as anger problems, but there are still things we can learn from anger management theory. Anger management tries to get the individual to see in degrees of emotion instead of extremes. An anger management expert will try to instil an emotional spectrum in the individual – encouraging behaviours that are in proportion to the event. In many cases, someone with anger issues are often angry about themselves. They may, for example, be annoyed at their own personal shortcomings. This rage then manifests itself as an external projection on to other people. Treating anger often involves encouraging an individual to love who they are.
Being able to meet the situation with an appropriate response, is the main reason why being able to specify what yourare feeling is so important. For instance, are you angry at that person because you are upset or because you are jealous about something to do with that individual? The clearer you can be in identifying a problem will produce a more accurate response to it. The thing is, identifying an emotion can be tricky to those unaccustomed to it. For a bit of fun, try the following exercise.
Get a pen and paper and write down as many positive emotions you can think of. Next to each emotion, write down a time you have felt it and what physical feeling it gave you. Now do the same thing with negative emotions on a separate piece of paper. You should include experiences such as muscle tension, nausea and butterflies in your stomach.
Now relive the positive emotional experience. To do this, focus on one of the memories that gave you a positive experience. As you do this, notice how the physical sensation returns. Notice how swiftly you can begin to affect real physical changes in your body.
The power of the mind should never be underestimated by any one. This little demonstration shows how easy it is for us to create physical sensations just with the power of thought. Of course, imagining an emotion is just half the solution; expressing them in a meaningful way is the next problem you need to work on. However, the fact that you are already taking steps in the right direction is a positive thing. You should now think about moving on to the next stage to fully manage your emotions.

Author Description :

Andrew James offers a no cost video showing you step-by-step how to overcome negative thinking patterns. please visit www.stopthenegativewaves.com

狂刺妻200刀 電器工墮樓亡

(星島)2010年12月22日 星期三 05:30

(綜合報道)

(星島日報 報道)人間悲劇莫過於此！一對恩愛夫妻，疑丈夫有工作壓力兼受工傷困擾，壓力「爆煲」下精神失常，昨晨在北角寓所起床，翻轉仍在熟睡的妻子，騎在妻背舉餐刀狂刺二百刀，妻子詐死逃過一劫，丈夫以為殺人，由十八樓攀窗跳下當場慘死。妻子雖得以保命，但目睹丈夫跳樓身亡，傷心欲絕。

吳志豪 楊偉亨

任職電器技工、兼職網球教練的中年男子，因為生活壓力失常，將同床共枕的妻子視作惡魔，昨晨他用餐刀狂刺妻子，妻子裝死仍被刺二百刀，滿床鮮血，行兇丈夫其後跳樓畢命。警方將案列作傷人及自殺，交東區重案組接手調查。

翻轉熟睡妻騎背狂刺

斬妻後跳樓的男子陳家驃，四十四歲，為一家大型公營機構的電器技工，並在香港網球總會兼職網球教練，其四十三歲姓廖妻子，則在金鐘一間寫字樓上班；兩人九九年以二百萬元購置七姊妹道一○○至一○四號天順樓十八樓一個單位。

大廈保安員及鄰居均指陳與妻子感情要好，出雙入對，甚少吵架，與人碰面時都會打招呼。

消息稱，早前陳因工作問題受困擾，加上一次工業意外受傷，更令其心情低落，其妻多次關心詢問，陳都不願探討，一直將壓力埋在自己內心深處，陳妻特意於上月與丈夫到內地旅行散心。

昨清晨七時許，疑陳通宵未睡，在廚房拿取一把四吋長刀刃的餐刀，折返睡房，將仍在熟睡的妻子翻轉並騎在其背，左手按頸，右手揮刀，其妻猝然驚醒但無力掙脫，背部被刺超過二百刀後假裝氣絕，丈夫停止行兇後棄下餐刀離開。

妻假裝氣絕情況嚴重

陳隨後開啟客廳窗戶，縱身跳下，壓毀十五至十七樓的晾衫架，直墮二樓平台鋅鐵簷篷，街坊聞巨響報案；消防員趕至架起升降台將陳救落後巷，救護員證實他已喪命。

警員其後到陳的住所查問，拍門良久無反應，破門入內，赫見陳妻背部滿是血洞，倒伏在染滿鮮血的床上，急忙召救護員替她包紮及送往東區醫院 ，廖女送院時情緒激動，目前情況嚴重。

警檢走染血枕頭床單

港島東區重案組跟進調查，鑑證科人員到場搜證，至中午檢走四大袋證物，當中包括兩個染滿血迹的枕頭、床單被褥、文件、手提電腦，以及固網電話等。

死者陳家驃生前在香港網球總會兼職教練，網球總會企業傳訊及行政經理陸欣珩表示，陳在該處任教練數年，每星期教一班，每堂約有十人。

她又指，出事前未聞陳在工作或私人方面有任何問題，會聯絡與陳相熟的同事，了解是否需要提供協助。