情绪影响一个人的健康及思考判断、生活质素和工作表现. 因此如何处理情绪,便影响孩童长大后能否成功及幸福地生活。

心理学研究有愈来愈多证据指出负面情绪如果得不到当事人的感受及接纳，并用适当方法去表达，长久累积下来，以后容易患有情绪心理困扰。

小孩通过童年家庭生活经验观察，父母及亲人情绪表达，学习到情绪处理的基础，因此父母如何表达自己情绪，如何处理孩童的情绪要特别小心，免致造成后患也不知。

现举下面一例，当孩童遇到引致出现焦虑或恐惧事件，父母应该如何处理。

一.如果你的孩子对你说︰「我房内有鬼，我不敢到房内睡觉。」你会怎样处理？

甲家长可能会说「世界上哪有鬼？不要乱说，快去睡吧！」甲家长如此处理孩童恐惧情绪，基本上否定了他内心的感受，令他感受到自己的感受是错的，因此除了不敢去感受自己恐惧的情绪外也不去接纳自己的情绪，于是便把恐惧情绪压抑到心底里。

如果父母处理孩子的情绪方法不改，孩子长大后便学会了不去体验自己的情绪并习惯性地把负面情绪压抑下来，这对身心健康有长久不良的影响。

二.另外有家长乙面对相同处境对孩子说︰「我理解你内心的感觉，你可否告诉我，你现在内心有甚么感受？」

当孩子内心的恐惧得到认同，有机会去感受恐惧的情绪，恐惧的感受便立刻得到缓和，并且慢慢减退消失。

家长乙如此处理孩子的情绪便给孩子学到自己可以 体验自己的情绪而不需要抑压真正的感受，在这种环境长大的孩童身心健康也比较有保障。

三.同样情形下，丙家长对孩子说︰「孩子，我理解你的困扰，你可否把内心的感受与我分享，我们一起探讨如何解决好吗？」

丙家长的做法不但让孩童感到自己可以面对自己的感受，而且感受到自己的负面情绪是可以解决的，内心比较踏实，自信并且勇于面对自己负面情绪，在这种环境长大的孩子，无论自信心、人际关系与身心健康都会得到益处。

美国在九一一事件后，有时事追击节目,访问当日一位消防队长如何勇敢、有智慧地带领一群慌张的消队员在漆黑一片的世贸大厦内寻找生路，其后该队长成功带领全部队员逃出生天，但节目过后的日子，该位有智慧又勇敢的队长却出现了种种情绪心理病。简单地说是创伤后遗症，但细心研究是因为队长责任心重，在逃生过程全心全意、竭尽心力地把队员带出生天，在过程中他不经意地把恐惧情绪压抑下去的后遗症。

心理学家乐曼安德信(Norman B. Anderson)在研究人的情绪后得出结论，人一生漫长旅程中，少不免会遭遇挫折及挑战，这些遭遇会使我们出现恐惧，忧郁及愤怒等负面情绪，影响人们的生活及工作，如果能好好从小预防，学会如何处理负面情绪，人生的幸福才会有保障。

Our personal characteristics play a major role in our overall happiness. Research has suggested that as much as 25% of what makes us happy in life derives from things such as flexibility, our outlook on life and resilience. Hardy people tend to bounce back from setbacks and remain positive. Some of our characteristics we inherit, but there is a great deal you can do to instil healthy characteristics within you. Personal development can help you to improve your emotional wellbeing. You should get into the habit of questioning unhelpful and unhealthy thought patterns.
People manage their emotions in various ways; for instance, some people like to bottle things up on side whereas others prefer to explode at the slightest provocation. Where do you think you fit on the emotional management spectrum? If you are sitting at either of the two extremes, you are allowing yourself to be managed by your emotions not the other way round. Since it can be very hard to judge yourself objectively, you should think of different scenarios and imagine your reaction to them.
We all have a personal emotional spectrum that makes us capable of being interesting, unique characters, for that reason you should not think of emotional management as a form of brainwashing. However, what it does entail is managing responses that are negative or violent in nature. People who react violently to any provocation do so because they are lacking in emotional maturity. If you go off the rails at people for no reason, the chances are that you are only able to see the world in straight lines.
People who are excessively angry at minor provocation are lacking in perspective. Rather than seeing a problem as an irritant, they become enraged at any situation. This type of behaviour is unnecessary and destructive. An individual who acts in this way is unable to make specific observations about their feelings. They are often rash and impulsive towards other people. If you are somebody who suffers from severe anger issues, you should really consider getting professional help.
Of course, not all emotional problems are quite as extreme as anger problems, but there are still things we can learn from anger management theory. Anger management tries to get the individual to see in degrees of emotion instead of extremes. An anger management expert will try to instil an emotional spectrum in the individual – encouraging behaviours that are in proportion to the event. In many cases, someone with anger issues are often angry about themselves. They may, for example, be annoyed at their own personal shortcomings. This rage then manifests itself as an external projection on to other people. Treating anger often involves encouraging an individual to love who they are.
Being able to meet the situation with an appropriate response, is the main reason why being able to specify what yourare feeling is so important. For instance, are you angry at that person because you are upset or because you are jealous about something to do with that individual? The clearer you can be in identifying a problem will produce a more accurate response to it. The thing is, identifying an emotion can be tricky to those unaccustomed to it. For a bit of fun, try the following exercise.
Get a pen and paper and write down as many positive emotions you can think of. Next to each emotion, write down a time you have felt it and what physical feeling it gave you. Now do the same thing with negative emotions on a separate piece of paper. You should include experiences such as muscle tension, nausea and butterflies in your stomach.
Now relive the positive emotional experience. To do this, focus on one of the memories that gave you a positive experience. As you do this, notice how the physical sensation returns. Notice how swiftly you can begin to affect real physical changes in your body.
The power of the mind should never be underestimated by any one. This little demonstration shows how easy it is for us to create physical sensations just with the power of thought. Of course, imagining an emotion is just half the solution; expressing them in a meaningful way is the next problem you need to work on. However, the fact that you are already taking steps in the right direction is a positive thing. You should now think about moving on to the next stage to fully manage your emotions.

Author Description :

Andrew James offers a no cost video showing you step-by-step how to overcome negative thinking patterns. please visit www.stopthenegativewaves.com

狂刺妻200刀 电器工堕楼亡

(星岛)2010年12月22日 星期三 05:30

(综合报道)

(星岛日报 报道)人间悲剧莫过于此！一对恩爱夫妻，疑丈夫有工作压力兼受工伤困扰，压力「爆煲」下精神失常，昨晨在北角寓所起床，翻转仍在熟睡的妻子，骑在妻背举餐刀狂刺二百刀，妻子诈死逃过一劫，丈夫以为杀人，由十八楼攀窗跳下当场惨死。妻子虽得以保命，但目睹丈夫跳楼身亡，伤心欲绝。

吴志豪 杨伟亨

任职电器技工、兼职网球教练的中年男子，因为生活压力失常，将同床共枕的妻子视作恶魔，昨晨他用餐刀狂刺妻子，妻子装死仍被刺二百刀，满床鲜血，行凶丈夫其后跳楼毕命。警方将案列作伤人及自杀，交东区重案组接手调查。

翻转熟睡妻骑背狂刺

斩妻后跳楼的男子陈家骠，四十四岁，为一家大型公营机构的电器技工，并在香港网球总会兼职网球教练，其四十三岁姓廖妻子，则在金钟一间写字楼上班；两人九九年以二百万元购置七姊妹道一○○至一○四号天顺楼十八楼一个单位。

大厦保安员及邻居均指陈与妻子感情要好，出双入对，甚少吵架，与人碰面时都会打招呼。

消息称，早前陈因工作问题受困扰，加上一次工业意外受伤，更令其心情低落，其妻多次关心询问，陈都不愿探讨，一直将压力埋在自己内心深处，陈妻特意于上月与丈夫到内地旅行散心。

昨清晨七时许，疑陈通宵未睡，在厨房拿取一把四吋长刀刃的餐刀，折返睡房，将仍在熟睡的妻子翻转并骑在其背，左手按颈，右手挥刀，其妻猝然惊醒但无力挣脱，背部被刺超过二百刀后假装气绝，丈夫停止行凶后弃下餐刀离开。

妻假装气绝情况严重

陈随后开启客厅窗户，纵身跳下，压毁十五至十七楼的晾衫架，直堕二楼平台锌铁簷篷，街坊闻巨响报案；消防员赶至架起升降台将陈救落后巷，救护员证实他已丧命。

警员其后到陈的住所查问，拍门良久无反应，破门入内，赫见陈妻背部满是血洞，倒伏在染满鲜血的床上，急忙召救护员替她包扎及送往东区医院 ，廖女送院时情绪激动，目前情况严重。

警检走染血枕头床单

港岛东区重案组跟进调查，鉴证科人员到场搜证，至中午检走四大袋证物，当中包括两个染满血迹的枕头、床单被褥、文件、手提电脑，以及固网电话等。

死者陈家骠生前在香港网球总会兼职教练，网球总会企业传讯及行政经理陆欣珩表示，陈在该处任教练数年，每星期教一班，每堂约有十人。

她又指，出事前未闻陈在工作或私人方面有任何问题，会联络与陈相熟的同事，了解是否需要提供协助。